


Clueless

by losemotivationquickly



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Chanwoo knows whats up, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-03 22:59:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13351290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losemotivationquickly/pseuds/losemotivationquickly
Summary: Hanbin is good at playing around. He doesn't involve himself in the serious, responsible type of relationship, no. He just does not do the like-love thing.Maybe that's why when it comes to such pure and genuinely nice boys as the likes of Kim Jiwon, he is- utterly, clueless.





	1. Chapter 1

"It's not gonna be easy this time."

Chanwoo mutters, absentmindedly cleaning the already-squeaky-clean glass in his hand with a white cloth as he scans around the pub, eyes squinting. Seemingly found what he has been looking for, he turns back to smirk at Hanbin, bringing his finger to point at something. "There."

The other man sitting in front of the bar, a glass half full of his favorite Margarita- light, to keep him from getting tipsy, then follows the direction accordingly. His eyebrows furrow.

"Not my usual type." Hanbin complains to the bartender, also his friend, with a slight pout. In return Chanwoo just chuckles.

"That's the point."

Hanbin gives him the ugliest grimace possible before darting his eyes back to the person Chanwoo just points out, taking in the sight of unruly black hair, smiley crescent eyes- somewhat nervous at the moment, oversized hoodie and inside-out ripped jeans. Hanbin is experienced, and by just one look he can tell what kind of date the other would be. This one? Not his taste, to be honest.

In places like this, there are foxes lurking in the shadow, hunting for pleasure for the night, and even though Hanbin would not say he is one of those predators, he does play around. Why not, killing time and escaping loneliness without any string attached, just the kind of lifestyle that suits him the most. As results, coming to him are all players seeking the same fleeting pleasure. It's give and take, it's fair, so he doesn't mind.

What he does mind is the kind of people that demand more than just an one-time thing, asking seriousness and responsibility from him, which he obviously does not and cannot offer. The kind of people that may look like the boy Chanwoo just selected as his latest challenge.

"300,000 won if you get that guy on bed." Chanwoo declares, then adds. "In your house."

"What? Heck no. I hate bringing other people home!" Hanbin scrunches his nose in an objective manner, to which Chanwoo just waves his hand dismissively.

"Okay, okay. Anywhere other than your house is alright then. I will give you two weeks to get in that guy's pants, deal?"

"Three. I don't usually flirt with this type of guy."

"Two. Things can't be too favorable for you. I'm betting on this after all." Chanwoo says with a seal-the-deal tone of voice, and Hanbin replies with a distasteful expression.

"Fine." He mumbles before drinking up his cocktail. "Get me two shots of Martini."

Chanwoo gives him a knowing smile, turning away, and five minutes later he brings out two tall glasses filled with pellucid liquid. Hanbin doesn't get on with the act at once, though. He just sits still, laying his gaze firmly on the other boy who must have known by now that he is being observed, and keeps staring unabashedly. It lasts for quite a while before his prey finally gets restless, fingers tapping on the table and eyes darting everywhere. When he, at last, dares to perk up and meet Hanbin's eyes, the latter smiles.

Fingers curling around the two glasses, he stands up, slowly making his way to the other boy's seat without breaking their eye-contact. Hazel orbs focus on the cocktails for a second when Hanbin places them on the table, then go back to maintain their staring contest. The other's tensity makes Hanbin chuckle.

"Notice you being alone for a while. Want some company?" He slides a glass to the other boy as an invitation. "It's on me."

"...Thanks." The other says hesitatingly, looking Hanbin over in curiosity. His voice is deep and raspy, it rings in Hanbin's ears. Now that he has an up-close look, Hanbin can also take in account the sharp jawline, pink full lips and a long, beautiful neck with visible Adam's apple. Alright, it might not be too unfavorable a bet for Hanbin then.

"Try some. The bartender here can be annoying, but the stuff he makes worths every penny." Hanbin says, grinning when feeling a distant glare. The other boy just replies with a shy smile.

"Sorry, I don't drink alcohol very often."

"Why are you at a bar, then?" Hanbin raises an eyebrow questioningly, to which the other laughs nervously to cover his awkwardness. They fall into silence then, which is not a good move, so again Hanbin initiates the conversation.

"You don't talk a lot, do you." Hanbin says with his head tilting to the side, peeking at the raven's face. The latter meets his gaze, then quickly averts his eyes.

"I don't talk too much with strangers." He mumbles quietly and Hanbin holds in his laugh. This guy sounds like an elementary schooler, what the hell. "But you seem to be quite comfortable approaching others."

"Huh, me?" Hanbin widens his eyes at the sudden counter, and it takes him a second to find back his composure. "Oh, no. I actually don't like socializing. I just want to talk to you."

He smirks as blush starts to creep on the raven haired's face.

"Why?" He asks, determinedly stares down at the glasses, one of which Hanbin deliberately brings up his lips to take a sip before answering.

"I don't know. Why do you perk my interest?" Hanbin chortles, and if the other hasn't realized his obvious flirting attempt by now, that guy must be really really dumb.

He is really that dumb. Ears flushing red, he just sits frozen on his chair, not knowing what to say back. His breath hitches as Hanbin decides to lean in, whispering:

"You know what, I kinda want to know more about you," He stops, leisurely like a cat cornering his prey. "Like, first off. What's your name?"

"Bobby." The other boy says, then clarifies as Hanbin gives him a puzzled look. "I have lived in the US for a few years. That's how my friends call me. My birth name is Kim Jiwon."

"Then I'm gonna call you Jiwon." Hanbin says with a lop-sided smile. It's one of his tricks, making him special in some way to the other person. "You don't mind me calling you like that, Jiwon?"

"... N-No..." Jiwon says, all flustered and Hanbin knows he pushed the right button. He pulls back to give the other some space, then brings up a hand. He doesn't forget to pack along his most charming smile.

"I'm Kim Hanbin. Nice to meet you, Jiwon."

Jiwon eyes his offering hand with hesitation, then finally wraps his own big hand around it. His voice is low as he says, soft as a breath.

"Nice to meet you too, Hanbin."

 

 

_And the fox has his claws clamped on the throat of his prey._

 

 

Hanbin isn't surprised in the least when he comes back to the pub the following day and sees Jiwon having been there waiting for him. Of course there he would be, trying to contract himself as small as possible as if hiding from the crowd, gaze drowned into the glass in front of him. But then those eyes would light up at the sight of Hanbin and curve into crescents, disappearing under his black strands of hair and he looks so naïve and bright and _new_ that Hanbin can't help but smile at him, too.

They talk more than yesterday, about all sorts of thing and at some points their roles reverse and Jiwon is actually the one doing the talking while Hanbin just listens, cheek pillowing on his palm, contemplating Jiwon himself more than what he talks about.

Jiwon seems like the type of guy that would shy away from strangers, but then get intimating quickly once being befriended. It doesn't take him too much time to start slinging arms over Hanbin's shoulders and to not hold back his weird, loud laughter whenever Hanbin makes some cynical remarks.

They are sitting too close, not that Hanbin really realizes for he might have had a bit too much alcohol for a night. Jiwon, on the other hand, seems pretty sober for someone not drinking very often. He has a stable arm around Hanbin's waist to keep him still from his giggling while Hanbin, taking advantage of the situation, starts leaning into Jiwon with his whole body.

"I feel so weird, Jiwonie." He whines into the other's ears, hands tugging at the hood of his hoodie. "I'm sleepy."

"You drank too much, let's stop before you pass out." Jiwon says gently, pushing the cocktail away from Hanbin's reach and guilding an arm to wrap around his neck, helping Hanbin stand up properly. "Here, let's go to my car. I'll drive you home."

"Nooo, I don't wanna go homeee!" Hanbin drags his voice, a bit exageratedly, and pouts sulkily. Deliberately he perks up, batting his lashes pleadingly while snaking his arms around Jiwon's neck. "Hey, take me to your place, Jiwonie." He whispers, tempting. Irresistably. Dangerously. "Let me sleep over? I promise I will behave."

Jiwon has hands grabbing Hanbin's hips, big, warm hands that send heat seeping through the fabric of Hanbin's shirt, reaching to the skin beneath. His breath uneven at their proximity and Hanbin doesn't stop pushing his limit, trying to close in as much as possible. For a moment all Jiwon does is staring into Hanbin's dazed eyes, wordlessly, then when he speaks, his voice is gentle, but firm.

"No." And he pulls away, distancing them. "I'm driving you home."

Hanbin blinks, once, twice, trying to process the information. He just offered to stay the night and was rejected on the spot. Hanbin was never rejected, no, especially not by some dumb guy who doesn't even know the basic of flirting. Before he has time to feel further offended, Jiwon has smiled that blinding smile of his and Hanbin almost forgets what he was even angry about.

"And then tomorrow, I will come to pick you up. And we will go to a movie, and hang out. Is that okay?"

Jiwon ends his words with a nervous grin, and it broadens when Hanbin replies with a slow nod, unsure of what he is undergoing. He has just been rejected and asked to go out at the same time and by the same person, he should have the right to feel a bit confused.

"Alright then. Tomorrow morning I will come collect you at eight." Jiwon says while helping Hanbin to the door. "For now, let's go home."

And for the first time in his life Hanbin doesn't seem to know what to do, so he lets Jiwon proceed on taking him home, watching till he gets in safely, then waving him off with a beaming smile.

This is why Hanbin does not involve himself with good boys. Good boys like Jiwon are so easy, they make Hanbin struggle with figuring out what the hell is on their minds.

 

 

 

For record, Hanbin has never gone out with a person twice, so at the moment it's understandable that he feels a bit puzzled. Sitting stiffly by the driver seat in Jiwon's sport car, he seems to lose his primary composure somewhere, not able to even lead the conversation. Normally he doesn't have to appear as having interest in his partner for more than one night, so for now, he is tongue-tied.

On the other hand, Jiwon seems to be even more open than before. As if having his seal ripped off, he never stops running his mouth with that strange laugh of his. From their not-so-small talk, Hanbin can sort out some information about Jiwon such as his job as a businessman- what field, Hanbin doesn't quite catch, but Jiwon must be good at it, considering the bright red Lamborghini he is currently driving. What else, he also likes music, as in enjoying and making it. He has good taste in wine despite having claimed as not drinking much, and he possesses a collection of stuffed bears, which he mentions with gleaming proud eyes. None of these is really related to each other, but they all reconfirm Hanbin's estimation of Jiwon. Soft, bright, pure. _Nice_. Frustratingly so.

  
They arrive at the movie theater during Jiwon's story about a cat he once had. (He called it Sweetheart). (Which is kind of cute). To this point he has told Hanbin almost everything about his family and friends and his childhood years in the US without the other really asking about it. Their communication basically consists of Jiwon spilling out whatever comes across his mind while Hanbin occasionally nods and gives mild expressions in response. He doesn't mind it, though. He has smiley eyes and warm fingers- timidly brushing against his at every stop, as compensation.

They enter the theater when the lights have already been turned off. Hanbin let Jiwon choose the film. After all his sole purpose of today is to get closer to Jiwon's bed, not to watch a movie, a horror one at that...

Wait a sec. Horror?

"Jiwon... Um, what's this movie?" Hanbin leans into the other, whispering while an eerie music is being played in the background. The little girl on the screen is looking at a very disturbing-looking doll. God, Hanbin hates doll.

"Uh... erm..." Jiwon stutters as he tries to inspect the tickets. He looks bashful as he says. " I-I don't know either. I asked for recommendation... so..."

"But you should have known it's a horror movie by its poster, no?"

"Sorry" Jiwon apologizes with a tiny voice, his eyes droop with sadness. "We can go out if you want to."

Hanbin takes a moment to reassess the situation. He seriously dislikes exposing his vulnerability when facing this kind of stuff, but again, he is here to get on good terms with Jiwon, and being a killjoy right now is the last thing he should do.

 _For Jiwon_ , he solemnly declares in his mind as he says:

"No, actually, just stay here. I also wanna try something new."

"You look like you're not good with scary movies." Jiwon peeks at Hanbin's face with curiosity. "You gonna be alright?"

"I-I am not scared of this stuff." Hanbin instantly replies with slightly pinked cheeks. He averts his eyes to focus on the screen instead of Jiwon's cheeky grin. "I just hate jump-scare."

"Uh-huh." Jiwon says with a slow nod, clearly unconvinced. Before Hanbin could say anything to justify himself, a shriek tears the air. A hideous face pops out from the darkness and without himself realizing, Hanbin's fingers have shot out to grip Jiwon's sleeves tightly.

"Woah... That's startling." Jiwon scrunches his nose and turns aside to see Hanbin who is pale as a sheet. "Hanbin?" He calls softly, tapping on Hanbin's hand.

"Huh? No I-I-I..." Hanbin swallows thickly, trying to restrain the embarrassing cry he almost let out. In out, breathe Hanbin, you can do this. It's just the sound-effect. Nothing is really scar--

The demon screams at the audience and before Hanbin knows it, a high-pitched whine, almost like a sobbing sound, has left his mouth as he covers his face with both hands.

"No no no I can't do this I can't" He mutters in panic to himself, his back glued to the back of the seat as if he is trying to disappear into it.

A hand suddenly wraps around his wrist and Hanbin almost screams has it not for the familiar radiating heat of those fingers. Slowly Jiwon succeeds in pulling Hanbin's hands away from his face. They keep eye-contact as Jiwon lifts up the arm-rest between them, so he can hug Hanbin and let him hide his face in his shoulder.

How embarrassing. Hanbin hears a voice groans at the back of his mind, and he must agree. This is so embarrassing. And warm. Jiwon is always warm. But that doesn't make this any less embarrassing.

"It's over." Low voice whispers in his ears. "It's not scary anymore."

Hanbin quietly nods, for some reasons not really keen on letting go of Jiwon. He feels safe like this. Secured, but again undeniably shameful, so he commands his fingers to unfold.

When he slowly turns to look at the screen, a big pair of bloody eyes stare right back at him, and distantly, he hears himself spill out a swear while Jiwon muffles his laughter. That asshole.

"Was that necessary?" He seethes through his clenched teeth as the other's laugh grows louder.

"You look so funny, I just can't help it," Jiwon says, almost breathless. The glare Hanbin gives him then might even be as terrifying as the ghost's in the movie.

After a moment of thinking, Hanbin decides to bury his face into the other's shoulder again. He doesn't need to look up to see Jiwon's surprised expression.

"I will just stay here for the rest of the movie. I'm not trusting you anymore." He mumbles determinately, feeling the shoulder shaking from restrained laughter again. "Next time, I'm choosing the movie."

"Next time." Jiwon agrees, something more than just humor lingers on those words. Promise. Expectation. Hanbin lets it escalate.

For the rest of time Hanbin doesn't really remember how the movie goes. How adorable eye-smiles are and how warm hand-in-hand can be, those he recalls very well.

 

 

 

"So?"

Hanbin perks up to level his eyes with Chanwoo's. He is sitting in his favorite corner, with his favorite drink in front again, just like that day a week ago.

Being met with Hanbin's confused eyes Chanwoo heaves a sigh.

"Our bet. How are you doing with it?"

"Well, I guess? I had his number." Hanbin absentmindedly answers while his focus is shifted to the phone he has in hands. "We chat all the time. Last night he even called and told me stories about his Pooh bear till I fell asleep."  A dreamy smile is then drawn on his face. "It was amazing."

Since his concentration was on the screen he misses Chanwoo squinting eyes at him. The bartender then inquires with the usual composure.

"How about dates?"

"Every day." Hanbin says with a smug grin. His eyes curve into shapes of quarter moon.

"Let me guess, the amusement park?" Chanwoo says, clearly with sacasm, but Hanbin looks up at him with surprise in his eyes as he gasps:

"How do you know?"

Chanwoo gives him a stare that spells 'really?', which Hanbin ignores and proceeds on daydreaming with a dazed expression.

"I have only ever gone to amusement parks when I was small, even then I didn't think it could be so much fun." He breaks into giggles. "Jiwon likes it even more. Honestly he was no difference from the kids there, running all over the place. He once tripped himself and fell into a fountain on his way running to me, and another time--"

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, but" Chanwoo cuts in with an eyebrow raised. "You haven't forgotten about the real goal, have you?"

"... I'm on it." Hanbin mumbles. His shoulders drop and his expression falls. Witnessing the light disappearing from his eyes the other boy can't help but softens.

"You know, we can just forget about the bet if you really like him that much." The bartender says with a gentle tone. "It's better actually. I can tell that he's a really decent guy. You deserve as much."

Hanbin opens his mouth to reply, but instead finds himself at a loss of words. It scares him how he cannot afford to laugh it all off, and tells Chanwoo that no, of course it's just a game to kill time. It has always been a game to him and there is no reason for it to suddenly become all serious, because he doesn't do the serious stuff. Hanbin just does not do the like-love thing where he has to invest in something enough so that when it breaks, he will be hurt dearly. He's not going for that, not now. Not ever.

So he gives Chanwoo silence as answer. It's exactly because Jiwon is so decent of a person that Hanbin would never deserve him.

 

 

 

 

For some reasons Hanbin doesn't seem so lively as Jiwon invites him over for a movie night, so the latter is currently quite nervous in fear of having done something wrong. Hanbin's smile looks forced even when Jiwon has employed the help of chocolate ice-cream, and Jiwon is worried even more.

They sit on the big couch in Jiwon's livingroom, the movie on TV forgotten and an unusual strained atmosphere between them. A few minutes later, Jiwon cannot stand the tension any longer and inches closer to the other boy who has a spaced-out look on his face.

"Hanbin?" He softly calls, timidly brushes his fingers on Hanbin's, feeling the other flinches and turns to him with wide doe eyes. "Is there something wrong?" Jiwon quietly says, tenderly laying his hand on Hanbin's hand. The latter gives him a smile. It doesn't reach his eyes.

"Nothing. Why do you ask me that?" He chuckles, but avoids Jiwon's gaze. A habit whenever he feels pressured, as Jiwon has figured.

"You don't look too good. If there is something troubling you, tell me. We can deal with it together." He tilts his head to look at Hanbin's face, but the other refuses to meet his eyes. "... Or don't, if you're not comfortable with telling me."

"It's not like that..." Hanbin instantly says, looking down at their joined hands. The corner of his lips falls with a sigh. "It's not like that."

Jiwon keeps searching his face, eyebrows furrow with worry. Then he sits back, and just when Hanbin thinks he has given up with investigating, a pair of arms have curled around him, a bit too roughly pulling him into a hug of overwhelming warmth and suddenly the slight fragrance of Jiwon's shampoo fills his lungs.

"Wh-what are you..." Hanbin stutters with his hands pressed at Jiwon's chest. He feels heat rushing to his cheeks and he's, to his own disbelief- blushing. "I said I'm okay!"

"I know." Jiwon only tightens his embrace and his rough voice does things to Hanbin when it is heard up close. His stomach clenches and he seems to have forgotten how to breathe. "I just want to do this."

A warm hand strokes his back, along the line of his spine and Hanbin frightens at how he loves the sensation. It evens out his breath and gradually, he can respire again. His hands fall only to clutch at the back of Jiwon's shirt instead, erasing the distance between their bodies and he collapses into Jiwon's heat, Jiwon's hands, Jiwon's voice and absolutely nothing but Jiwon takes over his mind as he surges to press his lips on the other set before his eyes.

It feels like tasting fire, the pit of his stomach burns as their tongues intertwine, wet, hot, sloppy and there are teeth gnawing on his lower lip and hands yanking him closer and closer till they share the same body heat and he feels like melting. He doesn't mind. Jiwon sucks his breath out of him and he doesn't mind that either. Nothing really matters anymore now that he has Jiwon with him, on him, all over him. He holds no strength in himself as he lets the other push both of them down the couch, his arms curling around Jiwon's neck and he can die like this. It all feels just right.

Their lips part when breathing comes into consideration, a needy groan escapes Hanbin's throat and faintly he hears Jiwon chortling. The other's unruly hair brushes at his chin as Jiwon traces his neck with his lips, scattering light kisses and when they reach the joint of his neck and shoulders, he forcefully bites down. The sharp twinge of pain sends Hanbin trembling and moaning desperately. He is not like himself, robbed of his control. It's Jiwon who makes him like this and he just cannot help but losing himself to the other. Helplessly. Happily.

Hanbin doesn't know how many marks did Jiwon leave on his body that night, as well as how a single tear fell off the corner of his closed eye as Jiwon whispered in his ears. He doesn't remember what the other said either, but he does recall the warmth deep in his heart as he laid in Jiwon's arms and for the first time in years, he didn't wake up alone.

 

 

 

Hanbin is so screwed.

No, not by that meaning. All they did the previous night was platonic comfort-kissing. Okay, they made out, which was not platonic in the least and thus absolutely perfect, and they fell asleep. Nothing more. Which makes Hanbin kind of relieved, and somehow, even guilty- a word never turns up in his dictionary until recently. He feels like not himself anymore. He's so so screwed.

Hands covering his face, he lets out an exhausted sigh. He exploited Jiwon, the pure being made of sole goodwill and sunshine and rainbow, and used his exposure of vulnerability to lure such an innocent boy. Why did he even do that? How could he even have the slightest thought about doing that?

But wait. His eyes shoot open in realization. Wait.

Isn't that what he's supposed to do though? Why the hell should he feel ashamed about it? It's not like he is serious about Jiwon or anything.

_Is it?_

Cornered by himself, Hanbin heaves a heavy sigh, dropping his head into his arms. Headache. In times like this, there is only ever one thing can help him clear his mind.

"Bad day?" Chanwoo asks while putting a glass of wine in front of the slump which is his friend. Yes, this. Wine, irony.

"Bad decisions." Hanbin mutters in reply, sits up to grab his glass and takes a sip. The acidity and bitterness burns down his throat and he shivers. Trying to forget the taste of fire.

As he decides to swallow the whole content of the glass, he hears a light gasp from Chanwoo. As far as Hanbin concerns, almost nothing can surprise Jung Chanwoo, so that little sound of astonishment causes him to instantly check if his hair was on fire or something.

"Oh wow, someone is being real smooth, huh." The bartender smirks mischievously, and when Hanbin responses with nothing other than a blank look, he brings up a finger to point at his own neck, indicating something. Hanbin, still having no idea whatsoever, then checks his reflection on the empty glass in his hand and oh. There he sees it. A red- turning purple, bite mark graces itself on his neck without him even noticing. _Oh_.

As if he were an exemplary schoolboy being caught committing adultery, he immediately covers the mark with a hand, face flushing. Just how rough Jiwon was yesterday?

"And here I thought I might have a chance to win this." Chanwoo clicks his tongue in slight disappointment. He slips his hand into his pants' pocket, then takes out his wallet. "How many days has it been? Ten? That should be a record, you have never been with anyone for so long."

He places 300,000 won on the counter, under Hanbin's confused eyes. Before the latter can explain, Chanwoo has cut in:

"But what are you going to do? Jiwon seems to be quite serious about you. Are you planning to dump him after the deeds were done?" The bartender says, sounding like deep in thought. "Well, that's just how things have always been though... Oh," And suddenly he stops talking. Eyes wide. "Hi... Jiwon."

After that, things happen in seconds.

It feels to Hanbin, however, like forever. Time halts when he turns around, finding Jiwon standing right behind him, a bouquet of Dahlia in his hand, and as their eyes lock, the world mutes.

Hanbin cannot even hear what he says as he stumbles over his chair, trying to call after the back of Jiwon as the latter runs outside. The maddening beating sound of his heart deafens his ears and he chases, shoving himself through the crowd, an arm stretched out in hope of clutching the back of a shirt.

Reaching out for warmth.

And so he runs, screaming something he can't remember, chasing after the boy who has his heart shattered for the night. Running to every corner of the street, greeted by unknown faces and silence in return.

And so he knows he has lost him for good.

And so he cries and cries.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw their latest album is  
> p e r f e c t

" _The number you are calling is currently unavailable--"_  


 

 

But of course it is. No one with dignity and a sane mind would continue letting himself be treated as a mere plaything. Not even if he is the kind and naïve Kim Jiwon.

Especially because he is Jiwon.

"Still not picking up?" Chanwoo quietly asks, eyeing the man next to him sliding the phone across the counter, away from him as if it was venomous.

Instead of answering, Hanbin brings the glass filled with alcohol to his lips. It's the third one tonight and Chanwoo starts sending him worried glances. But it's still not enough. The more he drinks, the more sober he seems to become. Not only has the liquid no longer been able to wash his grief away, it imprints on his mind the hurt look on a face supposed to only be graced with smiles, beet red ears and Dahlia. Falling onto the cold ground, breaking into petals--

Ah, headache.

It has long passed the closing time of the pub, but he is a special guest with a seat reserved for a  broken heart. Chanwoo is sitting by him in his normal clothing, and Hanbin feels bad for the kid for having to tolerate a mess that is him. By the look that the boy gives him, he can tell that Chanwoo pities him, too.

"I'm sorry." Chanwoo then says, gaze drowned in the glass in front of him. "If only I had noticed him there..."

Hanbin tries to say something, but words lose their way to his tongue and he temporarily forgets how his voice works, so he only shakes his head lightly because no. It wasn't Chanwoo's fault. Everything has derailed from the moment he decided to sit down on the seat next to Jiwon, to not stop even after knowing that the other is too good for him.

Three days it has been since Kim Jiwon disappeared from his life. He has no idea how such a person so bright as if painted with sunlight could suddenly vanish without a trace, but he has then realized that's because Jiwon has left him nothing to begin with. He owns nothing of the other, besides the lingering of his warmth, the touch of his lips and the memory of his smile. Carving into his mind like a bleeding scar that he does not know how to heal.

It's gone wrong since he tried to reach for something he did not deserve. And now, they both fall.  


 

 

 _"The number you are calling is currently--"_  
  


 

Sometimes Hanbin wonders how long it would take a person to forget someone.

Two days at most, the past him would say. But he, at the present, begs to differ. He doesn't know. How he wishes that his feelings would dry out after a second, a minute, no more than a day, so he would be left unscathed, unchanged, so he would not have to notice how quiet it is to be by himself, how lonely each footstep of his sounds and how his fingers yearn for wamrth. Oh how he wishes.

Then he would again wonder, how can it be that one person could just break into someone else's life and flip it upside down, leaving it forever altered and incapable of returning to how it was before. So he would wonder as he occasionally looks at the empty seat beside him. Is it fair, so he would ask, that there is someone who can make that much of an impact on your life, while you yourself have almost no control over it?

"No, not fair." He says quietly and firmly, as if trying to explain to the nothingness surrounding him. The scenery outside the cabin is growing smaller and smaller as he is lifted up, higher and higher. It's a circulation. After reaching the peak of the sky he will go down, down and come back to the ground.

Unfair.

 

 

_"I always imagine something happening while I'm hung mid-air, like the cab breaking or the door slipping open and me falling outside." Jiwon said, inching closer to Hanbin as they shared the same seat in the cabin, making his shivering visible to the latter. The fact that Jiwon chose to sit beside, other than across of him, was somehow making his stomach churn with nervousness and he said, only to distract himself from their intimacy._

_"You should have told me if you don't like this."_

_"But it's said that Ferris Wheel is a must for any date." Jiwon replied with a grin so endearing that Hanbin couldn't help but smile back. "Besides, I don't really dislike it. It'll be fine if I don't look down."_

_And there were fingers finding his own in a firm grip. Hanbin looked up only to meet hazel orbs gazing at him adoringly as if he was a wonder to those eyes._

_"It'll be fine as long as I look only at you."_

_They were gradually lifted up from the ground, which Hanbin could only guess from the sound for he was just not able to look away from Jiwon. They locked fingers and gazes and Hanbin felt like being chained down, breath stuck and all of his nerves on edge, not sure what to expect but anticipating anyway. But all Jiwon did was staring at him fixedly, wordlessly, as if contemplating the shape of his irises or carving every line of his face into memory, and Hanbin honestly didn't know how or why, but he was starting to get anxious and pressured with just one look._

_They had reached the sky by now and Hanbin should really say something. Jiwon was making it hard for him to breathe and his heart was beating too fast it ached, but his voice must have been lost somewhere as he drowned into Jiwon's eyes, head empty and respiration be neglected. Look away, he ordered himself. With all the strength left in him he turned his head to the side, cutting contact, trying to inhale._

_Then all of a sudden a hand shot up to grip his chin, yanking him back and he stopped breathing, eyes wide as Jiwon's face was so close and their lips almost touched. Almost, remaining just almost. Hanbin wanted to erase that last bit of the distance between them, to feel Jiwon's lips and Jiwon's warmth, and when he finally decided to surge forward, their cabin touched the ground._

_As if being electrified, Hanbin jolted and pulled away instantly, his cheeks flushed red. The hand on his face abruptly moved down to press at his chest and he perked up, seeing a smile gracing those lips that he knew would be so soft against his._

_"Your heart is beating like crazy." Jiwon said, giggles vibrated in his throat. "You sure like the thrill of height, huh."_

_And Hanbin could even hear it himself, the frantic rhythm of his heart echoing in his ears, a sound that obviously had nothing to do with the Ferris Wheel._

_"Yeah." So he whispered, eyes filled with the reflection of the other's bright, bright smile. "I like it very much."_  


 

 

 _"The number you are calli--"_  


 

 

Rain.

He is pillowing his head on one arm, his other free hand spinning the cell phone on the surface of the dining table while he listens to the sound of rain lashing into the windows and his own quiet breath. He has a roof and these thick walls sheltering him from the storm outside, but somehow he still feels like standing under the cold rain, each drop hitting him like a bullet. He is numb, his limbs heavy, his stomach hurts, his heart hurts.

He misses Jiwon.

Although at this point he doubts that he has any right to do so, he still wants to see the other boy again, to ease this invisible, wicked wound he is carrying, and to say sorry. He knows, that for the pain he is suffering, Jiwon must be hurt ten times as much, he might not even want to see Hanbin's face a second time. Perhaps that's for the best, though. Perhaps they were just not made for each other, and this right now is the pay-back for everything Hanbin has done. Perhaps this is right.

But he. He just has no idea how to stop missing Jiwon.

Then before he knows it, he has found himself standing up, reaching for his coat and heading outside. It's raining even harder, but he can't bring himself to care. He needs to talk to Jiwon. If Jiwon has come to hate him, he will let it be, if Jiwon shuts the door in his face, he will shout his apology from outside. But he will not let it end just yet. Not like this.

In the moment when he has settled his heart and decided, he doesn't know that he will never get to Jiwon's house to meet him. He won't even be able to get through his door, for when he yanks it open, every single nerve in his brain freezes and his whole body stunned with shock.

He never knows that on the threshold in front of his door, there stands someone whose each and every inch is the cause of Hanbin's longing and pain. There he is, looking soaked and perfect. There is Kim Jiwon.

The cry of the rain fills the air, but to Hanbin, his world has silenced to condescend to a hoarse, raspy voice as it weighs on the words falling off those pale lips.

"I would like you to invite me in, Hanbin."  
  


 

 

The atmosphere between them right now feels like a second away from war.

Silent questions and silent gaze. It's as though if anyone is to speak even just one word, the tension will break. So Hanbin cannot afford to say anything as he brings out a big towel, placing them on the table in front of Jiwon, who is occupying one of his armchair and thereby dampens it with his drenched clothes. There are wet footprints trailing from the door to inside Hanbin's livingroom, but for now all of his attention lays on the person in front of him only.

The silence drags on for minutes before Jiwon decides to break it. The familiar rough voice of his manages to make Hanbin jolt, despite the latter having heard it many times, in more intimating situations than this.

"Are you going somewhere?" Jiwon asks. When being met with Hanbin's confused eyes, he gives a pointed look at the coat Hanbin has left on a nearby chair.

"Oh... It's nothing." Hanbin says, then clears his throat when thinking that his voice sounds somewhat unnatural. They fall into silence again, and unlike the first time, Hanbin does not know how to initiate the talk. He has so much he wants to say, all of his thoughts get jumbled. Sorry, he pleads in his mind, I'm so sorry for everything. The output is nothing of the likes.

"Why are you here?"

He wants to punch himself as soon as he voices those words out loud. He expects Jiwon to do so even, but the other boy stills on his seat, gaze aimless, as if he has been questioning it himself.

"I don't know." He admits, lowering his head as well as his voice. Strands of wet hair fall to cover his eyes. "I just thought about you and... Before I knew it, I've already got here."

"How do you know my address?"

"Your bartender friend is very supportive of me." Jiwon chuckles lightly. His faint smile falls faster than rain. The mention of Chanwoo seems to have dug up all of the horrible memory of the other night, and in silence they can feel it forming above them like a storm cloud, ready for lightning to strike. Hanbin does not want to confront the issue this early, he has not prepared what to do and to say, and he doesn't want to make any mistake, but he just can't run away anymore. For Jiwon, he has to do this.

"Hey." He says, feeling the other boy looks up at him and his stomach clenches. But he proceeds. "What you heard that night... About me toying with you and all of this is-is not serious..." He turns to look at anything but Jiwon. "It is the truth."

He waits for a second for any reply, which is none, so he moves on just to get it over with.

"We... I and Chanwoo had a bet on you, and that was the reason I approached you. I wasn't planning to seriously date you at all."

Then a pause, making room for any emotinal outlet or reaction, but only silence follows. Jiwon's gaze is fixed on him and he feels breath clawing at his chest. He can't manage to look at Jiwon. He won't be able to think if he does.

And there it is, the voice he has been waiting to speak up. No anger, no disappointment. Jiwon sounds soft and sad and _knowing_.

"It's okay."

Hanbin's eyes widen.

"What?"

"It's alright if you don't feel a thing for me. Even if it's just a game, a bet or whatever," Jiwon looks away, trying to find words. When he continues, his voice is quiet, like whispering to himself. Like a prayer. "Please, even so. I want to be with you."

Hazel orbs find him and they lock eyes and just as how it's always been, Hanbin can't run, can't hide. He feels small and out of control under his gaze. He wants to ask why, why does Jiwon have to go lengths for him, why throwing away his pride just to be by the side of someone who played with his feelings? Why does he think that Hanbin is worthy of all this because Hanbin is not. He can never be worthy.

He tries, but only his lips tremble and he can't make words into sentences. Seeing him speechless, Jiwon averts his eyes and smiles. Looking somehow more painful than if he were to cry.

"But I know you won't want that. I won't make it difficult for you." He says, lips pressed together and that expression is something Hanbin never wants to see on Jiwon's face.

 _No, you don't understand_ , he pleads soundlessly.

"I just want to tell you, that's all." Jiwon stands up. Raindrops fall from his hair to the floor.

 _I need you too_.

"Don't worry about me, I was happy being with you." He says and smiles. Again, that sad, sad smile and Hanbin can't bear the look of it any longer--

_Stay._

"I love you."

His voice, sounding foreign to his own ears, escapes his throat and for a moment, both of them freeze from what he just said. Hanbin doesn't think, can't think when he steps forward, eating up the space between them to reach out for the other. Arms curling around his body and face pressing into his shoulder, inhaling the faint smell of rain lingering on his soaked clothes and he just can't help but whispers again and again.

"... Love you," He says to Jiwon's back. "I love you, Jiwon."

It is this exact moment that he realizes how much he has craved for the other's touch. He missed this scent, this warmth, this feeling like mad, and when Jiwon has hands coiled around Hanbin's wrists, the latter involuntarily shudders.

Slowly, Jiwon peels Hanbin's arms off him, and with much hesitation, Hanbin lets him. He then turns around so they face each other. Jiwon has always been an open book but at this very moment, Hanbin is seemingly incapable of knowing what's going on in his mind.

Jiwon doesn't smile as he searches Hanbin's face, then quietly he speaks.

"You know, it has passed the deadline of your bet. Saying that won't earn you anything."

Hanbin's mouth gapes open. There could have been so many ways to reply to a confession. That was definitely not an ideal one.

"No, Jiwon, it's not about that, I..." He gulps, silently cursing himself for having to struggle with words. Jiwon starts to turn away and in a haste, Hanbin grabs his face with both hands, pulling him back to look in his eyes.

"I just love you." He says, desperately, more like a plea. Hoping to convey with his eyes what his words can't. "Don't you understand? I don't want anything other than you."

They stare into each other and soon enough Hanbin knows that he's not the only one having trouble with breathing. He retreats the hands hugging Jiwon's face to take his palm, pressing on his chest. Jiwon must have felt the frantic beating of his heart for his eyes open wide. _This_ , Hanbin's thought goes soundless _, this is because of you._

"I love you." So he claims. No more denying. No more running. And he demands a different answer this time as reward for his honesty.

His world brightens again at the moment when those eyes go crescents and raspy voice whispers so, so close.

"Yeah." And there are arms pulling Hanbin into an embrace so that he can hear the sound of Jiwon's heart also beating like mad. "Thank you."

The lips in front of his eyes curve into a beaming smile, and Hanbin doesn't hesitate to put his own lips on them.  


 

What happens next is blurry to Hanbin, he only recalls himself needing and needing so much more of Jiwon's radiating body heat and they kiss and pull each other closer and even closer. And when Hanbin comes to, he has found himself lying on the dining table, fingers gripping Jiwon's hair and sucking on his lower lip while Jiwon has his hands roaming under Hanbin's shirt. His fingers slide across the smooth skin as if sketching the lines of Hanbin's body with his touch and Hanbin arches into it, content with the burning sensation it brings about. And Jiwon, keeping Hanbin busy with lips and tongue, then drags his fingertips to the lower part of the other's abdomen, caressing teasingly, and when those fingers slip under the elastic band of his underwear, Hanbin gasps out loud. He feels Jiwon smirking on his lips, hands starting fiddling with the zipper of his pants and his own fingers curl in Jiwon's shirt. He sounds breathless as he whispers, a bit struggling for Jiwon doesn't stop kissing the corner of his mouth.

"No, Jiwon. Not here." That doesn't sound very persuasive to even Hanbin's own ears, so of course Jiwon doesn't comply. If anything, he seems even more enthusiastic at Hanbin's useless resistance.

"No?" He coos, trailing light kisses down to the other's neck which he apparently has taken as his favorite biting spot and delivers a red hickey. The pain sends pleasure through every nerve in Hanbin's body and he has to gather all of his will power to speak up again.

"No. I don't want it here." He insists, pulling at Jiwon's hair to get his attention. When they face each other, he brushes away strands of hair falling into Jiwon's eyes, then wraps his legs around Jiwon's waist. "Bring me to the bedroom."

Surprise gleams in Jiwon's eyes, but soon after he understands, gifting Hanbin a lop-sided smile before moving his hands to the back of Hanbin's thighs. Having Hanbin's arms around his neck, he pulls the boy to sit up as he straightens his back. His palms support Hanbin's thighs, and he lifts the other off the table.

"Hold on tight." He instructs, voice low, and Hanbin does exactly so. He holds on Jiwon for dear life, face hidden in the nook of his neck and let himself be carried to bed. Hanbin never shuts the door to his bedroom, so Jiwon can just walk in, getting a glimpse of the unexpected neatness, then carefully, gently places Hanbin down on his bed.

And then down. Down they go.

Hanbin doesn't put much of an effort to remember. He just tries his best to feel. The sensation of warmth from another body, a trademark fragrance mingling with the smell of rain. The burning touch of hands and the wetness of lips. He craves them all.

So for all the pain that has been trampling his heart, for all the tears he couldn't cry and for all the apologies aching in his mind. For all of those that caused by love, if a beaming smile, a peck on his forehead and warm, warm arms curling around his body are what he can get in return, he doesn't mind it at all.

Hanbin never lets anyone in his home, he fears of personal intrusion. But for now, he allows himself to be embraced with warmth, the sound of rain and quiet breath by his ears. He can finally sleep soundly.  
  


 

 

Chanwoo puts the glass down the counter. His eyes trail up to look at an intruder seated in front of him. Said man, receiving a raise of his brow, then breaks into a bright smile. His eyes curve into thin lines.

"As usual?" The bartender asks.

"No, I'm driving tonight." Jiwon says. He proceeds to put a long, rectangular box on the counter, under the questioning eyes of the other. "Just dropping by to give you something."

"What's that?"

 _"Château Lafite-Rothschild_ " Jiwon says, opening the lid of the box for the other to get a glimpse of the bottle inside. "A bit of my gratitude to you."

"You sure are a skillful businessman." Chanwoo says, his lips curve into a smirk. "A weird one, too. Never has anyone come up to me and outright asked me to lure Hanbin into a bet so they get to spend two weeks with him."

"He would never lay his eyes on me any otherwise." Jiwon chortles, his eyes glean with mischief. "I tend to get what I want, even if my methods are a bit drastic."

That, Chanwoo can't agree more.

The bartender eyes the present box on the counter, contemplating. Then, he pushes the box back to Jiwon.

"I won't take this as your gratitude." He says. "Just take good care of Hanbin. He's too dumb and careless for his age that I can't let him alone. Now he's your burden."

Jiwon widens his eyes and blinks a few time in surprise. Before he can say anything, there are sounds of hasty footsteps behind them. And quickly, Hanbin comes into view.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Did you wait?" He says between breath, cheeks pink and eyes bright. He smiles broadly as soon as he sees Jiwon.

"I've just got here too." Jiwon replies with an endearing toothy grin. Chanwoo notices the way Hanbin blushes a deeper shade of red at it.

"We're heading out today, sorry Chanumon." Hanbin says, his smile direct at the bartender. "I'll drink with you another time."

Chanwoo waves his hands dismissively. His gaze follows as the couple walk out of the pub, and his lips curve at the image of Jiwon bringing his hand up to salute to Chanwoo, mouthing _'Roger'_. That hand then falls to wrap around Hanbin's waist, holding him close as they walk side by side.  
  


 

 _And the cunning fox has the clueless prey all for himself._  
  
  



End file.
